Survival Of The Funnest

On mornings when your aura feels better suited for a Saturday.

On mornings when you jump out of bed and then realize you need to sit back down.

On mornings when a week night winefest doesn't seem like such a great idea anymore.

Those are the mornings that you should refer to this post.

It is not unusual that I fall victim to a random runaway night out on a week day. And it usually results in me feeling like a victim the whole next day as I sit like a chump in my office with the door closed googling time machines.

As a reformed party girl (last night doesn't count), I have a few tricky tips to get you back on the fast track to health and prosperity. And by prosperity I mean finding out which bar you left your credit card at.

First of all, no matter how badly you don't want to get wet (that's what no one said), hop in the shower. Not only will this wake you up, but you will also wash off any booze that has escaped from your pores, dirt that is stuck to your feet from dancing bare foot after painful high heels were removed, and shame that covering your body.

Time to brusha brusha. Toothpaste on brush, brush dipped in baking soda. Trust me, this will transform a cat litter mouth into a breath of fresh air and remove red wine stains at the same time.

I am not a strong believer in breakfast being the most important meal of the day, but on days like this I am a die hard fan. Smoothies are the hungover working girl's savior. Toss in all of your favorite fruits, a banana, handful of spinach, water, and a couple packets of B12 instant energy. Blend and guzzle. If your queasy stomach can handle it, add some greasy hash browns to the mix.

Feeling better? Thought so.

Now get dressed in your most professional stretchy pants and baggy sweater and get to work. Quick. Before anyone notices. But make sure you grab a coffee on the way.

Once you've arrived to the office, check your emails and meeting schedule and make a list of your 'must dos'. If anything can be delegated, do so. Today is not the day so be a hero.

Once you have handled all urgent business, shut your office door and set your alarm for a half hour. Lay down under your desk and close your swollen eyes. I like to keep a blanket around for these type of naps.

Now that you've rested, hit your 'must do' list, focusing on busy work that doesn't require a clear head.

Lunch time! You probably have a go to hangover meal, so get it. Calories and fat content doesn't count today, just get it down the hatch.

Ok, so half your day is behind you and only four more hours until you are as free as a sick bird with a broken wing.

Now that you're starting to feel normal (whatever that means to you), it's time to go through your phone (hopefully it's not lost) and check your outgoing calls and text mails. This is the worst part of a runaway night but I promise you can get through this. Start with the calls.

Disregard any calls to your closest circle of friends, they probably already know about your antics and love you anyways, and if they don't, maybe it's time they were removed from the circle. Calls to ex-lovers and crushes is what your looking for here. Check number of calls, call time, and call length. This can be very telling. Telling you whether to hide under a rock for the next three weeks or to pat yourself on the back for having self control.

This would be a good time to call your winefest buddy and start piecing together the events of the night prior. Hopefully she is in the same rocky boat as you and you can get a good laugh from talking to her. Laughter can move mountains and migraines.

Text mail time. If you happen to have sent anything inappropriate you have three options. Option one, send another text mail saying that your phone was stolen by a friend or hooligan and you are so sorry for their actions. Option two, pretend that nothing happened. It kinda didn't, I mean you don't remember, do you? Option three, get behind your messages and twist the situation to make it seem that you were totally in line by saying what you said.

Four hours fly by when you're strategizing.

Time to clock out. Get home. It's completely appropriate to take a cab. Hopefully it's the same one you left your bank card in last night.

Pop in a feel good movie, crack open a Gatorade, and start eating as many bananas as you can handle.

Good as new? Not really. New is over-rated, I've always preferred shabby chic.

But you've made it through the day and you still have a job.

Tomorrow is another day. Booze it wisely.