Crooked summer teeth (some are here, some are there), the boobs of a fat five year old, and eyebrows that resemble Ernie's from Sesame Street were just some of the issues that the universe blessed me with to teach me to overcome insecurites.
At this point in my life however, I feel that my body and self image is very healthy.
Braces on my teeth, a killer push up bra, and religious visits to a waxing genius have helped.
So when I downloaded a new App on my iPhone called Am I Ugly?, I wondered if looking for an outsiders electronic opinion of my looks meant that I was backsliding into middle school confidence hell.
Oh well, I uploaded a photo that I thought was pretty darn cute.
Submit.
I waited anxiously, immediately regretting this download. I am nearly thirty, there is no reason for me to look for validation in an iPhone app.
The results.
Do they even have doctors for that?
Recognizing the error of my ways, I went to delete the App and pretend the whole thing didn't happen.
But not before one more submission.
The results.
Something smelled fishy.
Turns out that Am I Ugly? is on an entirely random rotation. It does not judge facial measurements or capture your bra size or zero in on the retainer that you are still wearing 15 years after having your braces removed.
My confidence was restored after the discovery that it is completely random.
Of course, there is no way I'm telling Sofi that.
After all, doesn't matter how cute you are, every girl needs a confidence boost once in a while.
