Cream Of The Crop

Well, not the crop, but cream of the cashew.

Much to much horror, I woke up Sunday morning and stumbled to the kitchen, my sleepy brain aching for a cup of coffee, and realized that I'd forgotten to pick up almond milk to whiten my coffee.

Rather than having a crying fit and going back to bed I decided to take matters into my own capable hands.

Here is the recipe that my pre-coffee brain put together.

Dolce Cashew Coffee Cream

1 cup of cashews, preferably soaked in water
1.5 teaspoons cinnamon
3-4 dates
1 teaspoon of vanilla
About a cup of water

That's my new homemade bamboo cutting board in the background. Thanks Dad :)

Toss everything in your Vitamix and let it rip for quite a while, you want the cashews and dates to be absolutely pulverized.

The consistency should be that of coffee cream so add enough water until you get to that point.

Add to your coffee and enjoy. It really reminds me of the Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte without all the gross animal products and chemicals. Keep the excess in the fridge in a really cute cream boat.

So now with caffeine coarsing through my veins I was ready to hit a yoga class and meditate on my life.

However, all I could think about was getting home for round two of the best coffee I've had in ages.

When I took the mixture out of the fridge, I saw that it had seriously thickened up, almost to a whipping cream texture and so, my next invention was created.

Slice up a crisp green apple into tiny chunks and pour some of the cashew mixture over, toss and sprinkle with cinnamon.

I'm not really a dessert person, but this was amazing!

Simple and fresh and perfect for a guilt free dessert.

Sunday crisis averted.

Am I Ugly?

Confidence is something that I have always had to fight tooth and nail for.

Crooked summer teeth (some are here, some are there), the boobs of a fat five year old, and eyebrows that resemble Ernie's from Sesame Street were just some of the issues that the universe blessed me with to teach me to overcome insecurites.


At this point in my life however, I feel that my body and self image is very healthy.

Braces on my teeth, a killer push up bra, and religious visits to a waxing genius have helped.

So when I downloaded a new App on my iPhone called Am I Ugly?, I wondered if looking for an outsiders electronic opinion of my looks meant that I was backsliding into middle school confidence hell.

Oh well, I uploaded a photo that I thought was pretty darn cute.

Submit.

I waited anxiously, immediately regretting this download. I am nearly thirty, there is no reason for me to look for validation in an iPhone app.

The results.

Do they even have doctors for that?

Recognizing the error of my ways, I went to delete the App and pretend the whole thing didn't happen.

But not before one more submission.

The results.

Something smelled fishy.

Turns out that Am I Ugly? is on an entirely random rotation. It does not judge facial measurements or capture your bra size or zero in on the retainer that you are still wearing 15 years after having your braces removed.

My confidence was restored after the discovery that it is completely random.

Of course, there is no way I'm telling Sofi that.

After all, doesn't matter how cute you are, every girl needs a confidence boost once in a while.

Stallion Salad

Before you judge me on the weird names that I assign my salad recipes, you try making one up. It is not easy.

I chose Stallion Salad for this one because I decided while making it that if I ever land a hot Italian Stallion boyfriend I will make this for him.

He's going to love it.

Stallion Salad

Ingredients:

1 cup of quinoa
8 stalks of asparagus
1 zucchini
5 mushrooms
1 red pepper
1/4 cup sun dried tomatoes in oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon olive oil
Pepper

There is spinach pictured but I left that out in the end. That's what happens with you invent as you go. Also, I left out red onion because I don't like onions but if you do, toss some in there.

First, add the quinoa and 1.5 cups of water in a pot and let it boil. Once boiling, turn the heat to low and put a lid on it. It will be ready in 15 minutes so hurry up and get your veggies and dressing ready.

I decided to get fancy on this one and used a potato peeler on the asparagus and zucchini, shaving them into ribbons.

Chop up the mushrooms and red pepper, add them to the bowl.

Next, put the sun dried tomatoes, olive oil, vinegar, garlic, mustard, and pepper into a blender and blend until combined.

Hopefully this is all done by the time the quinoa is cooked.

Add the hot quinoa to the vegetables and mix. The quinoa will slightly cook the vegetables making them delicious to eat.

Add the dressing and mix well.

This takes only 20 minutes to whip up which leaves you lots of time to entertain your Italian Stallion however you please.

He will love that as well.

Yo Momma

Another Mother's Day has come and gone and I have not received a damn thing from Sofi. Seriously pup, do you not appreciate me at all?

Of course she does, she's just bad at communicating her feelings... I wonder where she got that from?

But this post is not about Sofi, it's about me and my wonderful mother.

In the case of me and my mom, the apple has certainly not fallen far from the tree. We have so many similarities that I often wonder if she's copying me. She probably wonders if I'm copying her. Self-involvement might be one of our common threads. Kidding Mom.

We share a love for all things bohemian, the Beatles, being a drama queen, and the Gap. We both come home from hikes with pockets full of rocks, paint every piece of furniture in our homes multiple times, and have the same devotion to Clinique. We even cosmically end up buying the same shampoo without knowing it.

However, there are many ways that she is different and they are the ways in which I wish I could be just like her.

She is completely fulfilled in her day job, working with unfortunate children. She can whip up a fabulous, healthy meal for ten hungry people in twenty minutes flat. She never fails to land the upgrade at every hotel she's ever stayed at. She always makes time to focus on her health and fitness no matter how busy she is. She is a vault for every one's secrets and gives advice that can seem life saving.

I count myself lucky for the ways in which we are the same and admire her for the ways in which we are not.

The latest similarity was revealed to me on Mother's Day when we went to a yoga class together. Typically I prefer not to be beside her at yoga because it only takes one look to get us both giggling in a very non-yogic way.

The closing of the class came with the dreaded group Om. After doing yoga for five years, I still avoid having to chime in and hear my own voice. My solution to this has always been to move my mouth into a circle and just let air, not noise, pass through my lips.

I glanced over at my mom and saw that she was doing the same thing.

"Did you just lip sync your Om?"

A quick nod let me know that she had.

Yep. She was Milli, I was Vanilli.

But rather than blaming in on the rain, we chose to blame it on our hereditary lack of pitch and the fact that we are two of a kind.

Two peas in a pod.

Quite fitting actually, considering that we are both vegetarians.

Happy Mother's Day.

I love you.

Spanish Fever

Long ago at the cute age of 21, while studying abroad I was given the opportunity to spend Christmas in the beautiful Spanish town of Zaragoza with some of my fellow students.

It was a huge moment for me, not just because I had a lovely group of locals to show me the culture, but because it was the first and only Christmas that I have ever spent away from my own family.

Fortunatley for me, the town's spectacular sights and my tour guide's hot older brother left me little time to mope and miss my family.

I would show a photo of me in the town but I am much too horrified over what endless baguettes and chocolate bars had done to my figure at the time. The Euro-diet did not do good things for me.

As sad as I thought I would be at the time, I am more sad now thinking about how certain I was that I would be back to visit shortly, but yet have never returned.

Rather than letting it get me down I decided to take a walk down memory lane by digging out my old photo albums and pouring myself a memorable drink.

The drink of choice is the very spanish Kalimotxo.

Fill a glass with lots of ice and add equal parts red wine and Coca Cola. Set yourself up on the couch looking out at the places where you've lived and loved and take a sip.

Sometimes its helpful to reflect on and appreciate the good memories rather than be sad that they are in the past. And in reflecting I feel completely happy.

Which reminds me of one of the only Spanish sayings that I actually remember from that time, "Sólo un idiota puede ser totalmente feliz." It means, only an idiot can be totally happy.

Well, call me an idiot but this Kalimotxo has made me muy, muy, happy.

Salud.

The Girl On The Flying Trapeze

One of the top ten moments of my life was had on the Santa Monica Pier last summer when my mom and I took a leap of faith (quite literally) and joined a flying trapeze class as my gift to her on her 53rd birthday.

Although it was something that was way out of my comfort zone, I was stoked. My mom on the other hand was terrified and as she ascended the ladder looked back at me and said, 'Couldn't you have just gotten me a pedicure like a normal daughter??'. I threw my head back and laughed, thinking what a chicken she was.

That was before my turn.

The thirty foot climb to the top was excruciating and the Mickey Mouse harness made me want to puke.

I was forced to follow through for many reasons. First of all, this terrifying excursion had cost me sixty dollars. Secondly, my mother just did it. Thirdly, the seven and ten year old in the class just did it. And lastly, the instructor told me to jump and this is him:

I don't usually say no to men that look like that.

So off I went, flailing through the air like a drunk baboon, screaming like an injured hyena, and 'praying' like a mantas. A one woman zoo.

After getting the hang of the steps it came time for the dreaded catch. By far the scariest moment of my life that became one of the greatest moments.

The feeling when my hands connected with the instructors and I heard the words 'I've got you', which was my cue to let go of the safety of my own bar, was magical.

And here is the result.

A moment that I will never forget. One that taught me that by letting go and having faith, you can feel like you are on the top of the world. 

I Was Lucky Like A Four Leaf Clover

Maybe if you made a wish twice a day, both times at 11:11...

Maybe if you found a lamp with a genie inside...

Maybe if you wished on a million shooting stars...

Maybe if you rubbed a Buddah's belly...

Maybe if you had a rabbits foot on a keychain (you murderer)...

Maybe then you'd be as lucky as me, to have four best friends like I do.

But I doubt it.

I love you.

Fiesta Soup

Arriba! Arriba!

I don't even know what that means, but I do know that I say that a lot when cooking Mexican food and it makes me feel very authentic.

That phrase was belted out numerous times when putting together this lastest recipe and it's probably why it turned out so well.

Here is the recipe for a soup that is perfect for Cinqo de Mayo.

Fiesta Soup

Indredients:

1 cup rice, cooked
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can black beans, drained
1 can corn, drained
2 cups vegetable broth
1 zuchinni
1 red pepper
1 bundle of kale
3 green onions
1.5 teaspoons hot sauce
1 tablespoon lime juice

This is one of the easiest soups EVER!

Simply toss all of the ingrediants minus the kale into a large pot and set the heat to medium. Leave it for thirty minutes to an hour and right before serving, add the kale.

The bean/rice/corn combo creates a perfect protein source which makes this a go to for vegans.

I also added a handful of chopped cilantro at the same time as the kale for some extra flavor.

Happy Cinqo de Mayo hombres!

Life Is Art